It was during Physics subject lab class, when suddenly the teacher asked 9 students to stepped forward (5 boys and 4 girls). I couldn't remember exactly the number of students, but I am very sure the total number of the boys is more than 1 compare to the girls. I was one of the unlucky students to be called forward, and soon enough I know that this so called physics educational charade was for me....
The teacher, with his typical smile, make a scenario ...."let's say, during one of the preparatory study (prep) at night, one of you (he addressed to the girls) have sudden urge to go the toilet... the toilet is located far away... and you are the only girl student that night... who would you choose among the boy to escort you to the toilet...remember it's a dark and scary night... you could only choose 1 boy who you really trust".... We were all quite puzzled, because he's quite a strict teacher and does not share any jokes with us before this....
I don't know perhaps he got this 'education's game idea' from reading magazine or book.... or after watching some stupid TV programme... Remember, this thing happened on 1985, Leo Burnett haven't come up with idea for reality TV show such as Survivor or The Apprentice... If this thing happen now, I won't be surprise.. probably the teacher is addicted to reality TV show, and want to implement this on us...Or perhaps, Mr Burnett got the idea from this teacher...
So the game begun... one by one, the girls chooses the boy they taught can be trusted most.... during that time I am sure enough I would be choose by the second or 3rd turn... but I was so wrong...
The finale.....the finalist were, my friend, the last girl and me... that teacher reminded again the last girl on the scenario.. on the dark scary night, rainy, thunderstorm... whatever... I think if he want this 'reality show' to be more real, he should bring the audio visual sound effect.. or employed some people to intimidate us more...I can still remember the look of intimidation portray on his face....At this point of time, I am still confident, I would be the chosen one... "just look at my advantage"... I said to myself...
And the game ended... without hesitation, the last hope of mine, the last girl pointed her finger toward my friend over me.....I was left standing there, alone in front of all the students....With a cynically smile the teacher start lecturing me... on what's wrong with me, why I was not selected, why people don't trust me, .... He's start lecturing me.....on the stupid game that he started and give no option to the poor last girl... he's lecturing me on the future guilt and unforeseen bad behaviour that was not done by me yet..... I was proven guilty.. not because of my current or past wrongdoing.. but by future me...
The laughter by the rest of my classmate suddenly stopped... maybe they feel sorry or bad toward me.. or the "educational stupid joke" by this teacher ended..... I still remember on the other incident, when I was isolated during the Physics subject lab class... I was directed to seat alone, without lab partner, at the corner back of the lab.....that's another story....
You can punished or advice student who's misbehaved, but you can't at anytime......isolate or block educational access to misbehaved student.... This is why the government set up Sekolah Henry Gurney....so they also can get education though they're found guilty by law....
If his intention to humour us, then he failed, only a few of us laughed and suddenly stopped..... if he wanted to educate us with his sudden psychological skill, he also failed badly,... if he want me to feel inferior, I have to say sorry... he missed by a mile. So what was his purpose, what was he's trying to achieve ...
Since he asked me to think of my gulit, I kept on thinking... for about 1 week, 2 weeks.. then I just forget and forgive... though he did ask me after that in another session which was more personal...There's a longer version of the story and the sequel, but I don't see any benefit in writing that...
If any of you or any person you know, a teacher, lecturer, superior, father, mother, older sibling... please don't try this at your classroom, your children, your younger sibling or your domain.
I am writing this not because I have personal grudge or unsettled business with whoever.... or I have been psychologically affected that my view toward life somehow distorted..... or I have inferiority complex spawned by the incident....
I writing this.. because for me, this is a very-very wrong thing in education..... You cannot simply just implement or instill the feeling of guilt and inferior to anyone or any being.... for the thing that hasn't been committed yet. Even in the court of law, you're innocent until proven guilty.
9 years later, among all my ex classmate, I was graduated with Bachelor of Science in Physics from a local University.....not because of the 'psychological educational reality show'... but because of the love of that subject... and the lower study cost...
I still don't know till now, on what was the motive and what he's trying to achieve....clueless and unexplained.... Perhaps if I asked Chris Carter... he probably reply "the truth is out there".....
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